Opps...you get two in one this week!

I also forgot to put last weeks video on my blog...I thought I did, but I guess I only put in on Facebook- and forgot to actually put in on my blog. Sorry!

This is from my most recent show at Rockwood Music Hall with two ladies that I love dearly not only because they are amazing singer-songwriters, but also just because I genuinely think they are great people. It is so much fun to sing with them. Their names, just in case you were wondering, are Jamie Bendell and Amy Vachal. Check them out- seriously, you'll be glad you did.

This is us singing a song by The Civil Wars, and it's called "Poison and Wine."

Dear earth, I am coming back to you now...

So I fell off the face of the earth (according to a dear friend of mine here in NYC)...and I can't deny it, it's true.

I have had the opportunity to first go camping and sing silly camp songs... 

go to my best friends wedding...

play pretend with my nephew...

laugh with my mom and sisters...

play a house concert with an amazing band called Lady and Gent...

Eat my grandmas AMAZING peach pie (it's seriously to die for)
and go jogging in the morning with my dad (he works me into shape everytime)

take a road trip with my hubby...

drive the Las Vegas strip and ride splash mountain...

pick organic strawberries at some random farm in California...

get a sun burn at the beach and ride bikes around San Diego with friends...

all in the last 3 weeks. It's been AMAZING! 

I don't get to see my family who live out west very often, and so this time, I decided I was going to set other things aside while I was there, and I was just going to enjoy every moment of it. I hardly sent any emails, I hardly even played the guitar actually (so bad, I know!) but it was so necessary. I've decided that time just moves too quickly. It's so rare that I get to spend time with these people that I love so dearly, so I tried my best to be present. I think the realization that my niece who was 6 years old at my wedding is now 12 (going on 18) has really been a wake up call for me! I'm missing out on some of the lives of people that I love! 

So I know I said I was going to post a video a week...but I failed miserably at that this month. BUT, don't worry, I'm back now. I've come back to earth. I actually got back this morning...and I'm slowly transitioning to reality. I'll be posting a video this week and have some new songs in the works as well.

...in the meantime, I just wanted you to know that I'm alive and well...very well.

Although there are still some areas in my life that I long for to be different, I cannot deny that I am so blessed. It's almost more than I can handle. Do I even deserve all of this? I don't feel like it sometimes. But I'm grateful for it, and grateful to my Father in Heaven for being so generous and patient with me. Really though. How grateful I am to have had these last three weeks to spend with people that I love. 

Thanks for letting me fall off the face of the earth for a little bit. I'm back now (I think).

Xo,

Bianca

P.S. Today is my anniversary (7 years!!), and tomorrow is my birthday (don't worry about it!), and on Wednesday of this week, I am playing a show at Rockwood Music Hall at 9pm with two other gals that I am so fond of. You can hear them here and here. It's going to be great. You should come.

Wanna hear A NEW SONG?!

So I'm behind on all sorts of stuff as of late. Sorry about that. I have been dying to write about my Utah tour experiences, and still have planned to do that actually- but in the last two weeks, something else has always come up! Needless to say, I just wanted to share this first because I can't help myself. (I will post about Utah next, I promise).

 I always get excited to share new material, and this hear song is one I am particularly excited about. When writing it, I felt like it ought to be a duet, and it made it's debut last Saturday at Rockwood Music Hall with Matt Sucich singing and playing along with me. (By the way, if you haven't heard his music yet...you need to get on that. Go check him out- he'll be releasing some new material soon that is AMAZING.)

Speaking of amazing, last Saturday night at Rockwood was a lot of fun thanks to the fabulous musicians that played with me (namely Naomi Steckman on cello, Jason Bertone on Bass and Yaeir Heber on washboard) and especially to those who came out to listen! Thank you for being so attentive and wonderful during my show last week- it was a lovely evening and I enjoyed so much to share it with you.

More to come soon...but in the meantime, enjoy this new song, "Wishing Well."

P.S. As for background on this song...I wrote if from a place of deep desire. Have you ever wanted something so bad it hurt? Not like a cheesburger, I mean something that speaks to your heart and the deepest parts of yourself. Maybe you yearn for a spouse, a baby to hold in your arms, or a dear friend/companion...you may yearn for a job you love, or your career to take off, or something that is of great worth to you...whatever it might be, you feel such a strong desire for it that you wonder how long it will take, or if it's even possible! I have been yearning for a few specific things in my life in the last 2 years or so, and this is where this song came from. 

Xoxo,

Bianca

Birds fly over the rainbow, then why can't I?

The Valentine's Day show was a week ago today exactly. It was such a whirlwind of a day, I can't even begin to tell you. Ok, that's a lie...I'll certainly try to tell you. For some moments of the day, it seemed as if nothing more could go wrong! Yes, go wrong. I felt my faith challenged to the core. "Everything is working together for our good," I would tell Naomi as we'd laugh (to keep from crying) about the silly things that seemed to be getting in the way of having a successful night. Here's a quick timeline of the 24 hour craziness.

• Monday, 8pm: Naomi is supposed to be arriving to my house at this time but instead calls me to tell me her car has broken down, she's in Maryland, and took the car to the dealer who just informed her it'll be $2000 to fix. (So Naomi ends up trading in her car that night, and gets a great deal on a newer car, and makes it to NYC at 3am)
• Tuesday, 10am: Because we got a late start, we ended up not getting as much rehearsal time, but Tuesday morning (with groggy eyes and all) we get up, get ready, and rehearse. Meanwhile, some people who we were relying on to help us out with merch items, and so forth...end up bailing last minute, so the merch items were still to be finished, but we HAD to rehearse first and foremost, so that's what we did.
• Tuesday, 2:30pm: Then before we left, I attempted to print some things out before the show, but of course I ran out of printing paper so had to scramble to find scraps...and it was a disaster in my apartment all the while, and we were now running late...
• Tuesday, 3:00pm: We get everything ready and head in to the City to meet up with the band to do one last rehearsal. I get a text message from our drummer, "I'm not going to make the rehearsal and probably not making the show, in the ER, I'll explain later." What? First of all, are you safe, and second of all, I have no drummer. (Side note: medical emergency he and his wife had to attend to was a totally legit excuse though...for real, so no hard feelings). My stomach felt like I had a pit in it...but I continued to tell myself..."Everything is going to work out fabulously..."
• Tuesday 5:26pm: During rehearsal, I got a parking ticket (Gotta love NYC parking police)
• Tuesday 6:45pm: Then Naomi and I get stuck in Valentine's Day traffic (Yes, stuck. Meaning, the light would go from green to yellow to red and you haven't moved more than 5 feet)
• Tuesday, 7:25pm: We decide we're better off just parking and walking the half a mile to the venue because traffic was so bad. So we carry all our crap while walking as fast as possible, and my arms feel like they're going to fall off.
• Tuesday, 7:45pm: We get to the venue and head back stage. Guess who I meet there?? I meet Tony Lucca and Sarah Bareilles before my show back stage (Yes, that's right, I met them and had a quick chat before I went on stage...this is no lie. Tony had a show before and after our Valentine's Day show...I was amazed and frankly a little intimidated.)
• Tuesday 8:05pm: Then while on stage, my acoustic guitar chord wasn't plugged in all the way, so it cuts out during my first song. (But we fixed it...don't worry) Still sucked though.
• ...And then I played my set. I was really trying hard to shake off all the anxiety that had built up from the past 24 hours, and I was trying hard to stay present and really enjoy the moment of the songs. (Sounds kind of cliche, but I really feel that that is when I perform best...when I'm totally present.) So as the show progressed, I felt myself slipping back into that ease and into what I like to call, the "sweet spot" of the performance. Actually, the rest of the night was pretty great. Great music, great friends, and delicious cookies and treats. After all, what more could go wrong at this point, right?

Whenever I experience stress like that, I often find myself asking "Self: why do you do all this again? What's the purpose behind it all?" ...And I find that it's a really good thing for me to ask myself, so that I can focus and get even more clear on what it is I am doing and going after. I have to go back to the source, for me...that means going back to God...and asking Him, "What exactly is it that you want me to do, and why and how?" I don't always get an answer to the "How" question, because for me...that's where faith comes into play...but I do get an answer that comes in various ways as to the "What and Why" questions. Why do I do this?? Because it's in my heart, to share music with the world, to use it as a way to move, inspire and uplift. I can't let fear get in the way of that.

Today, I wrote in my journal about all of this (because I get the day off from work, and am sick at home with strep throat), and I realized that the urge to quit playing, writing and performing can at times be very tempting. Even still...I learn from the set backs, I continue moving forward in directions that pull at me so hard sometimes, in ways I can't deny. The thought of giving up, it's even worse that the thought of failing. And the things I learn from the supposed "failures" are priceless. 

So I get back up, and try to fly over the rainbow, because why not? If birds can do it, then why can't I? Somewhere over the rainbow, there's a land where the dreams that we dare to dream really do come true. 

Here's a clip from the night..."Somewhere Over the Rainbow," one of my favs...hope you enjoy!


Xo,


Bianca