Thursday, January 12, 2012

Looking back while facing forward

In recent years it seems that almost every mile marker like birthdays, Holidays, anniversary's, etc...gets me thinking about where I am, where I'm trying to go and what I am doing. Sometimes those questions sting a little and give me subtle reminders that I'm either not doing what I want or need to be doing, or that I need to change the way I'm viewing things. Does that happen to anyone else?

This new year I've been reflecting on the past 12 months, and while it can be easy to focus on all of the things that I don't have that I had hoped to have this year, I can also find a tremendous amount of areas in my life where I have succeeded and have been totally enriched! Seriously...2011 included fun and meaningful family trips, writing and recording new songs, recording and releasing a new album!, serving in my church callings with the youth, taking better care of my physical health, and playing shows in New York City among other places. 


Last year, in January of 2011, I created a "vision board" of magazine clips and photos that represented what I wanted to create in 2011. I know it sounds a little weird, but I really attribute a lot of my success in 2011 to being clear on what I want to create in my life. So after making this collage of images that just stood out to me for some reason, on the back of it, I wrote a simple question with my right hand: 

"What do I want to create in 2011?"

My left had then wrote the response (in very bad handwriting), 

"A life that is overflowing with love and joy in the moment and a life of balance as I allow Gods love to spring forth through every part of my life. And even when it snows on the Spring tulips- hold fast to the hope of Spring."

The tulip image that I saw covered in snow really struck me! I couldn't help be feel frustrated at that idea, tulips meant springtime- it's not supposed to be snowing on the tulips! And that really represented a lot of how I was feeling at the time too...frustrated at things that I had no control over, and almost angry that things don't work out the way "they're supposed to" sometimes. So the reminder of holding fast to the hope of Spring was indeed an important reminder to me in 2011. 


Now as for 2012. I've created my new vision board, and there seems to be some similar themes, but also a new theme for the year. I asked the question again with my right hand, 

"What do I want to create in 2012?"

and my left handed response was,

"A life that lives in the moment- that is filled with love...that is content with what life has to offer and a life of balance where simple comes first."

That definitely sums up my hopes for 2012 pretty well. To be content with the present while striving for greater. That is tricky to do. I realized recently that I've spent a lot of time in my life thinking that, "If only I had ____, or ____...then I'd be happy." And I'm learning now more than ever that if I want to feel happy, it won't be because I have a better job, make more money, sell more CD's, or live in a nice house and have a family of my own. It will be because I made the choice to be happy. Simple as that.

My new years resolution basically boils down to those simple ideas...
"Live in the moment. Be content with the present. Keep balance of priorities."

Having this as my mantra this year will be helpful. Especially during moments of ingratitude, or during moments when I will want to compare myself to other people around me. This year I am content. Truly grateful for the simplicities of life. I have so many dear people in my life...So many wonderful opportunities to make and share music...And so many moments in my life that lead me to know that somehow God is involved in even the small details of my life. 2012 is going to be a good year. And in a few days, I'll also be letting you know about Winter tour dates, as well as my Valentine's Day show which will include a free download of a new love song! So 2012 is feeling good so far.

How about you? Any new year resolutions on your minds? Post them if you have any you'd like to share...I love hearing what other people are resolving for the new year- it's inspiring. Happy 2012 everyone!


  1. Bianca!

    I am listening to your album right now. My sister Sarah [Fulton] gave it to me for Christmas and I love it... very beautiful songs! Also, I just watched the video of your friend Holly surprising you... I actually met Holly when she and I were dating these two dudes that were best friends. She is super sweet. :) Anyways, wanted to say hello and tell you how much of a talent you are. I am gonna post your cd on my blog either today or tomorrow! xo :)

    1. Roxy Marj,

      Thanks for your comment! And, I am blown away by how small this world is! I am meeting up with your sister soon over dinner to chat. I can't believe you are her sister and know Holly as well. Anyway, Thanks so much for listening to the tunes and for spreading the word! So happy to hear it!


  2. I love this B. You are so inspirational. I am working on my vision board now.

    1. Yes, can't wait to see it! You were my inspiration for doing the vision board in the first place. Xo! B