My first video post of the week: I heart Bobby Marley

A few years ago, I had a friend ask me a great question that got me thinking. He said, "If you could go back in time and see any musician play live, who would you want to go see?" I was a little surprised by my automatic response because the first person who came out of my mouth was "Bob Marley." I don't personally play and sing reggae very often...but I love me some Bob Marley. I love the upbeat vibe, and just how it makes me feel. Maybe it's partially because I remember listening to Bob Marley on our family vacations to the beach. But for whatever reason, out of all the great musicians that I would love to hear play, what sounded the most appealing to me was to hear Bob Marley in Jamaica in a small venue (I envisioned a little palm tree hut or something) listening to him play his songs on his acoustic guitar. I still kind of dream about what that would be like.

So I decided for one of my first "cover" posts, I was going to start with one of my favs, Bob Marley. It seems fitting for this Summer weather I guess.

What about you? If you could go back in time and see any musician play live, who would you want to see and hear?

Things for me are shifting...

Happy Summer Everyone!

These last few days have been so beautiful here in New York City. In fact, yesterday evening I took a jog around my neighborhood and soaked up every minute of it. I saw American flags waving in people's front yards, kids playing games in the street, old couples enjoying the night on their front porch, and the golden hue that covers everything for a brief moment while the sun sets. It only lasts for a short while, but it is arguably one of my favorite times of the day. What an amazing time of year this is...so worth the wait in my opinion.

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. I decided that during the month of July, I was going to gather myself together, reflect on what it was exactly that I was doing, and I was going to get clearer on my vision for my future. For a while, I've been feeling like I've been living in "default mode," which to me means, "coasting." I wasn't very clear on why I was doing what I was doing, and it started to get fuzzy...my purpose that is.

So here we are now already approaching mid July somehow, and I've actually discovered a lot in this short time of reflection. As far as my music is concerned...I decided that I am going to guard my time a little more carefully. This to me means that I am shifting things around a little...my priorities I guess, and the way I choose to spend my time is going to be more carefully assessed. Time is so valuable. So I decided that with regards to my music, I am going to be focusing less on playing live shows all the time, and more time on writing, and sharing my music online. I will play shows still, of course! But I may only do one or two shows in New York City every season, and then I'll continue to do little tours here and there, and on top of that...I'll continue writing, and posting video's and free downloads, and all that great stuff. I want to reach more people, but if I play a ton of shows in New York City, and if that takes up most of my time, funds and energy, then I won't have as much time and energy to write and share my music with all of you that don't live here in New York! And since I currently can't go visit all of you at the moment, then I will just visit some of you, and then will share music online with the rest. So there you have it, that's my new plan.

Other areas of my life are shifting as well, and it's so refreshing. It feels a little empty because I'm getting rid of the overload, but I know that in time it is going to feel so good, almost like the way you feel after cleaning out your closet. I actually started writing a song about this whole process this week, and hopefully I'll post a video to share it with you in the next few weeks once it's finished. My goal is to post one video a week. Today I'm going to start with a video that I am so excited to share because I got to be a part of this amazing group of other singer-songwriters that are based out of New York City, and it has all been compiled here on the NYC Music Collective page. If you want to hear some great artists and singer-songwriters...seriously, go check it out. You'll be pleased you did, I guarantee it. I'll post my clip from the NYC Music Collective here for you to also see and hear. Feel free to share it, and be ready for more to come soon!


ARTIST 05 - Bianca Merkley from ROCK*iT FiLMS on Vimeo.



With love always,

Bianca

NYC to SLC to NYC

Dear readers,

I went to my acupuncturist today who told me right away when she saw me that I looked "EXHAUSTED!" I guess I am not hiding it well. Since I had the wonderful privilege of having my sisters and my mom in town for a few days, and then I went to Salt Lake City, Utah for a few days...I have been playing catch up since I got back, and it is showing apparently.

Why do I tell you this you ask? I tell you this mostly because it is approaching midnight, and I know I need to take my acupuncturist's advice and get some sleep- so I will be brief in this post (at least I'll try).

Last weekend, I got to go to the beautiful Western part of the United States. If you haven't been, trust me when I say that it's beauty is one that will take your breath away. Really, I mean that. You need to go.

I got to go out that way because I was asked to headline at the Venture Outdoors Festival in Canyon Rim Park which is located in Salt Lake City, Utah right by where I grew up. Libbie Linton and Spencer Harrison (dear friends of mine and also ridiculously talented) played right before me at 7pm. They are recording an album right now that will be amazing, I can't wait to hear it when it comes out in the Fall. I'd definitely suggest you check them out.

Then my band and I played at 8pm following Libbie. I loved getting to see family and friends that came that night, some of which I hadn't seen in years. I also loved meeting new people, and was so happy to share my music with new faces. The night was so much fun. I can't really find words to describe how much I enjoyed it other than to say that it was amazing. The vibe and energy to the night was perfect. I felt grateful to be surrounded by talented musicians, loved ones, and people that I connected with. It was was really the perfect combination. Thanks to everyone who was able to make it out.

Here are some photos of the night that taken by Cristi Dame.

If you didn't get a chance to make it out to this SLC show, I will be coming back out in August for a few other shows, so keep posted! I hope to see you then.

Xoxo,

Bianca

I'm a Mormon, Married, Musician...Mother?

Laying on the grass with Joseph on Mother's Day, 2012

Ok, before you make any assumptions...I'm not a mother (yet), and am not expecting. I just thought since yesterday was Mother's Day that I would write about these things that have been on my mind as of late related to Motherhood and other "M" words. I'll be the first to admit that these "M" words seem a bit odd to some. And actually I am a little bit odd to be completely honest. I've learned to embrace that. I am a Mormon. I do deeply believe in the doctrinal beliefs of Mormons. I believe I have a Heavenly Father who loves me (and everyone else for that matter) infinitely, and I have developed a personal relationship with Him as well as with my Savior, Jesus Christ. I came to this understanding through my own discoveries and experiences. I've actually never seen God with my own physical eyes, but I've felt Him in ways that are equally as powerful, and have seen His hand in my life on countless occasions. I just can't deny it. How grateful I am for the experiences that have helped me develop this believe, faith and relationship with God. It has become such a foundational part of me.

Here's the second truth- as most of you probably know...I am married. And to one of the greatest men on earth actually. I got married young, it's true. And I married young because it really felt right for me. There wasn't anyone else in the world I wanted to be with, ever! So we got married, and he and I are so much better together because of it. We'll have been married for 7 years this August (I can't believe it's been that long!!). I'm so grateful to have him in my life. I really am so blessed to be his wife. Really.

Thirdly, I am a musician (duh, this is my music blog after all). Not only do I practice music therapy during the day, but my life as a singer-songwriter is so much a part of me! I love it so much. I've recently learned that I have to start owning that a little more. I usually don't even mention that I am a singer-songwriter when people ask the predictable question of "What do you do?" I actually cringe when I hear that question because I automatically feel like whatever comes out of my mouth will ultimately determine what my worth and value to that person. "I'm a singer-songwriter and I perform around the city and tour a little around the country." To me there's something about that that doesn't sound very credible I guess. I don't know, or maybe I fear sounding narcissistic or something. But really, one of my greatest joys is creating music and sharing it with people. It tugs at my heart so much. Especially after a magical show where connections are made with the audience, or after writing a new song, or playing music with and collaborating among friends and other musicians. It brings me so much happiness. I honestly feel as though it is part of my purpose and/or calling in my life. I love it.

As for this last "M" word...being a mother. I am not a mother yet, no. However, the truth is...I want to be. I want to be so much so that it's a little painful even sometimes. I've wanted to be a mother for as long as I can remember, but most especially in recent years. I have just had some infertility issues that have made it challenging. I usually don't talk about this too openly, mostly because I don't want people to feel awkward, and also because I fear the comments that often come after, "But you're so young! You've got plenty of time," "Wait, you want to have 4 kids! Why?!" "Maybe it's for the best, maybe you're not ready yet," or "Trust me, it's not that great anyway." I know no one means any harm in any comments they may make in our discussions about motherhood and wanting to be a mother, in fact usually people that I talk to about this are beyond compassionate and sensitive, and I really enjoy discussing my thoughts and feelings with them about it.

Sometimes though, people have asked me why I want to have children. From the outside perspective, if you look at my life, it is already so comfortable and may seem complete. Joseph and I have jobs we enjoy. We have a great marriage and we love each other a lot. We get to enjoy New York City, and I'm able to play music all around the city and even tour parts of the country. Why would we want anything to disrupt what we've already got going? That is a great question.

I want to be a mother because I feel it in my heart. It's almost as though my heart is going to burst with this love I feel for them, and I don't even know them yet. This innate desire continues to grow greater and greater as time goes by. There have been discouraging moments, and even a few tears shed because of it, but I have learned a lot through the process. I've learned that it's important to be happy, now. I can't wait for this future event to bring me happiness, it has to come from within me independent of my circumstances. I've learned that I need to strive everyday to be the best mother I can be for my future children. On the door of our apartment we have a sign that says, "Live in a way that your children would be proud." And that's what I try to do.

Meet Uncle Joe

I also want to be a mother because I can't wait to have babies with the man of my dreams. (Ha! That sounds a bit weird, but it's totally the truth). My husband is so good with kids, it's ridiculous. To see him with other people's children makes my heart melt...I can't even imagine how it will feel to see him play with our own. I can't wait to have a baby fall asleep on my shoulder. I can't wait to have them wrap their little fingers around mine. I can't wait to sing them to sleep and to kiss their cute chubby little face. I don't know exactly what it's like to be a mom, but I can only imagine that it's not going to be easy, and certainly won't be all fun and games. but I yearn for it in the deepest part of myself.

In fact, my song, "A Part of Me" was very much inspired by all of this. This song is basically the prayer I have in my heart. It's short and simple, but it is honest and genuine. Here's some footage of me recording it, I hope you enjoy. I also hope everyone had a very happy Mother's day. Mother's amaze me. Really really amaze me. I am grateful for their examples. I can't wait to be a mother someday too. In the meantime, I will try my best to live in a way that my children would be proud. In the meantime, I will strive to continue growing, sharing and learning so that I can be the best mother possible for my children when the time comes.

Thank you for reading and letting me share a part of myself with you.

Love,
Bianca

Wanna hear A NEW SONG?!

So I'm behind on all sorts of stuff as of late. Sorry about that. I have been dying to write about my Utah tour experiences, and still have planned to do that actually- but in the last two weeks, something else has always come up! Needless to say, I just wanted to share this first because I can't help myself. (I will post about Utah next, I promise).

 I always get excited to share new material, and this hear song is one I am particularly excited about. When writing it, I felt like it ought to be a duet, and it made it's debut last Saturday at Rockwood Music Hall with Matt Sucich singing and playing along with me. (By the way, if you haven't heard his music yet...you need to get on that. Go check him out- he'll be releasing some new material soon that is AMAZING.)

Speaking of amazing, last Saturday night at Rockwood was a lot of fun thanks to the fabulous musicians that played with me (namely Naomi Steckman on cello, Jason Bertone on Bass and Yaeir Heber on washboard) and especially to those who came out to listen! Thank you for being so attentive and wonderful during my show last week- it was a lovely evening and I enjoyed so much to share it with you.

More to come soon...but in the meantime, enjoy this new song, "Wishing Well."

P.S. As for background on this song...I wrote if from a place of deep desire. Have you ever wanted something so bad it hurt? Not like a cheesburger, I mean something that speaks to your heart and the deepest parts of yourself. Maybe you yearn for a spouse, a baby to hold in your arms, or a dear friend/companion...you may yearn for a job you love, or your career to take off, or something that is of great worth to you...whatever it might be, you feel such a strong desire for it that you wonder how long it will take, or if it's even possible! I have been yearning for a few specific things in my life in the last 2 years or so, and this is where this song came from. 

Xoxo,

Bianca

Guess where I'm going tomorrow??

Yip...that's right. The Beehive State.

And guess where I'll be on Saturday?

Yip. You guessed it...Velour in Provo, Utah!!

And guess what I'll have for you if you come to one of my shows??

Umm, one of these sweet kite buttons, as well as my new album.


So pretty much all I can say is that I am excited. I'm excited to play music in Utah especially! I feel like it's been so long. I'm excited to share my new album with those of you in Utah. I'm excited to see family and dear friends in Utah. And when it comes down to it, the mixture of those two combined couldn't be any better! It's going to be a great week.


See you soon dearest Beehive State!!

Xo,

Bianca

P.S. You can also see where else I'll be playing in Utah/Idaho if you check my website as well as Facebook and Twitter for updates (www.biancamerkley.com)

Virginia is for (music) lovers

So I'm a little behind in updating my blog...it's true. Sorry for that. I've been busy with all good things though, it hasn't been out of laziness. In fact, I'm working a little too much most of the time, but I'm loving everything I'm doing.

I've been getting out of New York City a little bit lately which has been wonderful. I was able to play in Philly for the first time (loved it), and also went down to Virginia once again with dear singer-songwriter friends of mine. There is something about road tripping with friends that is so enjoyable. Especially when on tour. And you certainly get to know one another well when you have over 12 hours in a car together. I learned that Todd Kramer and Matt Sucich have the best New York City accents of all time (which I fail miserably at mimicking). I learned that Rachel Epp is a Celine Dion fan to the core and knows every song of hers on pretty much any album. I learned that Matt will sleep on the floor so you can have the couch and will buy you your favorite watermelon sour patch kid snacks because he knows you like them. I learned that Todd is kind enough to drive to each borough in the city to pick you up and and will drive through the night so you can make it to work on time the next morning.

Pretty much I was lucky enough to tour to VA with an amazing bunch of people. Not only that, but the hosts of the house parties were also gracious and so kind. We played at The Camel on Tuesday night (see photo below), a house concert on Friday night in Charlottesville, at Para Coffee and on UVA campus during the day on Saturday, and at two different house concerts on Saturday night in Richmond. It was an amazing couple of days of music.

Here we are on UVA campus in this little YouTube clip. The weather couldn't have been more beautiful, and after long winter months in New York City, we couldn't help ourselves but to play music outside.



I feel I also need to give a special thanks to Naomi Steckman for playing cello with us and letting us crash at her apartment, and also to Rachel's sister for letting us sleep in her living room and making us homemade granola bars! Thank you for all for being so kind.

The trip back to New York from Virginia was hilarious. I decided to post this video for you to experience a little of it. Aside from the killer music, I love watching Todd and Matt's hand motions, and how the scenery changes as the time goes on in the video. I will warn you before watching it that it may have you craving more 90's music in your life once you see it. (Just sayin'...don't say I didn't warn you).



Welp, thanks for reading. I'll be sure to post soon about future shows I have coming up that I'm REALLY excited about. So keep posted. Lastly, happy Spring everyone.

Xo,

Bianca